George Leetch
Medford High School 5-2-10
A new minimum height requirement has been instituted at Medford High School. All faculty members must be at least 5ft tall to teach at the facility. When the administration was questioned about the new rule all that could be offered was a meek shrug by Dr. Paul Krueger as he flatly stated, “Belson got a new idea in the middle of a snowstorm while he was coming up with an excuse to force the kids to go to school, and now the system has to suffer.” Dr. Kruger then mentioned that the new rule was to prevent children from looking down on their teachers. The most vocal opponent of the rule is a longtime tenant in B-building who was preening his moustache and talking about the godly power of organic chemistry when we entered for an interview.
“This is just ridiculous!” the almost microscopic man said, “I’ve taught here for years and now I’m being kicked out?” he then proceeded to list a series of accomplishments and academic achievements to prove his superiority. “And on top of it all I’m sure that if I stretch my moustache out then I make the requirement for height.” The small man’s head inflated as he spoke and there are debates currently underway as to whether or not he should be allowed to be teach when his head is at maximum inflation, or whether he should just be fired on account of his gas.
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